Thursday, June 19, 2014

VA2K - Surprise Weekday Visit


We saw in the VA newsletter that they were having a 1 mile-ish (actually, a 2K) walk on 5/21.  We thought this might be a nice way to get dad outside and enjoy some of the nice grounds of the facility, so we decided to go for a visit.  When we got there we realized it might be tough to get dad to change his routine and spend part of the day outside, rather than shooting pool during our visit.  He really seemed to have no interest in getting outside and leaving the pool table.  We decided we just needed to be firm and tell him this is what we were doing.  He agreed, so we walked over. 
The facility is so large, it was practically a mile to walk over to the pavilion outside where they had sub sandwiches and some food and music playing for the walkers.   He was dressed in sweats, which was way too warm for the weather.  I was sweating just watching him, but the temperature never seems to bother him.  Once we got to the pavilion we decided to just sit and eat rather than doing the walk.  He had already walked far enough, and we didn’t want to push him too much.  So we got our food and sat at a table and enjoyed the music and sunshine.  It felt like a normal spring day at the park with normal conversation.  He often commented on the different songs, whether he liked them or not, how old they were and who sang them.  It sometimes surprises me how his memory has held up for certain things.
After we ate, we started on the long walk outside again to shoot one more game of pool before we left.  He started saying he needed to use the bathroom.  Which he always does because he drinks 9 cups of coffee and 3 cans of pop and bottles of water and whatever else he can find because he seems to have no sense of fullness when it comes to food and drinks.  He started making grunting noises as he was walking which was a little unsettling.  My sister and I looked at each other like, are we pushing him too much?  Is he too hot?  Is he going to the bathroom right now?  We picked up the pace to get him to a bathroom faster, but he kept saying he would be ok.  He didn't seem anxious about it at all.  But we sure were.  We made it back and all was fine. 

Since this was a weekday, I needed to be back early to get the kids off the bus after school.  I was paying careful attention to the time, and when a game wrapped up around the time we needed to leave, I told dad we needed to get going to get the kids.  He said ok.  But then proceeded to break the balls and start a new game.  I tried again, “dad, we really need to leave because the kids are going to get home and no one is there to get them off the bus. We don’t have time to play a new game.”  He said “oh, ok” but continued to play.  He was pleasant and it didn’t seem like he was trying to be difficult.  I think he was just confused and it just wasn’t getting through to him.  I worried maybe we had pushed him too far off his routine, especially with the heat and the long walk.  So I let it go, let him finish the game and prayed it would be a fast one.  Then we rushed him back to his room.  He seemed more confused than usual and kept forgetting we had just eaten, asking when we were going to lunch and saying we could stop at the cafeteria on the way.  He’s done this before, but this was worse and took a lot more reminding and redirecting than usual.
As we were leaving, one of the nurses made a couple comments to us about some unusual behavior he had been having the past few days.  She mentioned he had seemed more agitated and had been acting out a little with a couple of the other residents, which was very unlike him.  It was unsettling and I had a ton of questions, but we didn’t have time to discuss it much or ask what she meant.  It was kind of a downer after a visit that started out so nice.  There were times being outside on the nice grounds of the facility, where it was easy to forget he is sick.  We left that day realizing it would be unlikely that we would be able to take him offsite for some little day trips this summer like we were hoping to do.

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