We dropped dad off at the nursing home five days ago and it was probably one of the most difficult things we've ever done. As the phone calls from police increased, it was becoming more and more apparent that he could not be left on his own. He was on a wait list at this point, but every day we waited was another day too many. He would run out of cigarettes and head out to wander around his neighborhood, asking anyone he ran into if he could bum a smoke. This wasn't against the law but simply an annoyance. We had made the police aware of his diagnosis about a month prior and they had been understanding and patient with him. It wasn't until dad took his search for cigarettes a step further by looking in parked cars that they ended up having no choice but to arrest him.
The disease seems to really ramp up OCD tendencies. I think not necessarily about the nicotine addiction at this point, but more about running out and then going out for a walk to find more. It's a routine and we've found that he has several of them.
We made the tough decision to let him stay in jail for a few days as the police suggested it would keep him safe and possibly move up or even drop his court date. It gave us time to get things ready for the nursing home while we waited for the call. By some stroke of luck we received that call while he was in jail! My sister and I scrambled to get things ready for him as it was looking more and more like we'd be getting him from jail and heading straight to the nursing home. We were so afraid of what sitting in jail for several days might do to his brain but when we picked him up, he gave us a huge smile and a wave as if it he was completely unfazed about the whole ordeal. My sister and I agreed we would never forget that moment.
When he told us that it wasn't too bad being there, that they fed him, let him work on his crossword puzzles, and watch tv, I told him "well if you liked jail, you'll really like where we are going now!" We had to start pumping him up about the veterans home. It's so hard. We always feel like we are tricking him. But he seemed ok with it as we had previously taken a tour and he expressed being interested in going.
We met all the amazing staff members and got him settled in while he stepped out for at least a dozen cigarette breaks. It was a lot to take in and I wonder if it was just as overwhelming for someone with a brain disease. By the time we were ready to leave, he seemed to be shutting down and focused on his crossword puzzles, barely looking up at us. I think he was tired, and so we left and hoped he would adjust.
He is easily 20 years younger than the other veterans.
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