Out of sight but on our mind

When we first dropped off dad I thought about calling him every day and in the beginning we took turns calling.  But we wondered if that would prove to be difficult on him, making him think we were heading for a visit every day.  Since he's over an hour away, this isn't something we can do so we thought visiting on weekends as best we can and hoped that other family would pop in to see him between our visits. 

It started off ok and calling was a nice way to check in on him each day and to remind him of activities and other things he needed to do.  Then he was moved to lockdown and those reminders were a painful memory of what he used to be able to do.  I was almost afraid to call him, only to have him say he no longer likes it at the home. Thankfully, so far he's been alright and our almost weekly visits to sign him out to partake in activities has become something we all look forward to.  It seems he's figured out how to use his new cell phone and has called, asking what time we were coming and it breaks my heart to tell him "not today, but we'll see you Saturday."  We're not entirely sure he knows what day it is from the next.

Today, we went back to his house for the first time since moving him and it was difficult. We probably filled at least a dozen black garbage bags with trash and junk. There's just not a whole lot there worth saving, and that's what makes it sad. Some of the items were things he took with him post-divorce, which made us think of our childhood. We kept a few things for that reason, but threw out most of it as it felt best to purge.  We also moved most of the furniture to the garage.  The nasty couch that he slept on, the old, beat up bedroom set that our parents shared, and a bunch of odds and ends.  Most of it will be trashed and whatever we can salvage will be sold.

It felt weird, like we were looting the place. It probably almost appeared heartless at times but if we stopped to think about it too much, we'd never get anything accomplished, and this needs to be done for dad. He has no money and owes a lot of money to creditors, for taxes, his HOA, and the list goes on. The only way we can save the situation is to sell his house. He's in a mess and has been for years. We need to fix it.  It's just a little weird without him there.  Well, at least physically...