Yesterday was the first assessment appointment for dad at the VA home, so my sister and I went armed with questions. When we arrived, we walked into a room with several people sitting around a table, which felt a little intimidating at first. There were nurses and nursing heads, dietician, activities director and our super nice social worker. In fact, we like her even more than the first one from the nursing home side, so that's a nice bonus.
I was kind of hoping they'd go over dad's charts and give a play-by-play on how he's doing but they started by asking if we had questions. We asked how he was adjusting and things like if he's sleeping, participating in activities and if he seems fazed by being in lockdown. So far, so good. They said he's very pleasant and nice to everyone and he's been participating in some trivia games and the activities director even does some one-on-one time with residents and played some connect four with him. It was hard to hear her explain how he seemed to grasp the concept but couldn't quite come up with a win on his own. She even asked if he's played it before and my sister and I looked at each other like, "did he?, are you kidding?" I don't think either of us could beat him at that game. I said he was "sharp as a tack." So that sort of tells us about his cognitive skills and where they are heading. But we were happy to learn that he happily participates.
He also works on his usual crossword puzzles and word searches and watches TV in the common area. We were told that he has no issues with meal time or eating but the only flag on his chart is getting him to shower. We suggested that they don't pose it as a question to him, but rather tell him it's his turn on the schedule. It's also quite possible he's forgotten what to do as we explained a time when we asked him to shower, handed him brand new soap, heard the water turn on and he later emerged fully dressed but never opening the soap. Again, sad.
They said he seems to be sleeping but it didn't sound like it was consistent but they don't seem to push it on that ward as I think those with brain issues just sort of do their thing and I just don't know how they function on little sleep, but they do. He is still on Zoloft although they did increase the dose. They said it will likely stay at 100mg unless something drastic happens where they feel an adjustment is needed.
We worked out some kinks about signing him out of the lockdown wing to be able to take him to the areas where he can smoke and shoot pool. Originally they had him on a 'do not serve' list for alcohol but it was enforced a step further that they didn't want him in that part of the facility after 1pm when they start serving. We just couldn't let that stand. How in the world were family members able to take him anywhere on a visit? We can't always get there before 1pm and we usually like to spend an afternoon with him, sometimes joining him with a meal. So they agreed that he is properly monitored when family is accompanying him and lifted the ban. We still will not let him drink beer, but it's nice that he can go shoot pool, which is something he now associates with family visitors who can sign him out.
All in all, it was a nice visit. But I have to say the toughest thing about the day was witnessing the music hour before serving dinner in the dining hall. As we went on a quick tour thru the unit, we saw dad sitting at a table in the corner, while we heard music being played and an activities person using a loud, but calm, sing-songy voice. Almost like a kinder-care atmosphere. We peeked in to see 95% of the residents who were in wheelchairs, just sitting there in a trance. Some sang along, some rattled a little tambourine, and there was dad - just sitting. Heartbreaking. But as we approached him, we noticed he was flipping through a military magazine so that helped. We joked if he was going to sing, knowing he'd never in a million years do that, even before there were holes in his brain. He laughed and said "no." So we joked that maybe we'd go sing, and he laughed some more. He knows we'd never do that, either!
Oh, yeah, and one last question we didn't need to ask was if he could see a barber. We noticed that not only was the scruffy beginnings of a beard he came to the home with shaved off, but so was his moustache! It was like, "that's not our dad!" We've never seen him without it. Mom said he grew it in Vietnam and has never been without it since. Once we got used to it, it's kind of nice.
But, as if he wasn't already the youngest resident over there, he just (literally) shaved off another 10 years or so!
No comments:
Post a Comment