Last week we visited dad on a Wednesday since the VA home was hosting one of their monthly picnics for the veterans. Since dad doesn't usually expect us on a weekday, we didn't see him sitting in the lobby waiting for us. Instead, we found him sitting at his desk, in his room, working on his puzzle books. He had his back turned to us, intently working, that we had to greet him more than once before we could get his attention. He was very happy to see us and quickly wanted to go shoot pool.
Before we left his room, my sister and I noticed there was a nurse sitting at the bedside of his roommate. We didn't think too much of it at first, but then wondered if something might have been wrong. When dad was moved to the dementia unit this past winter, while it was sad to learn that dad would be the youngest in the unit, it was a little amusing to find out that he was being paired up with the oldest resident. I don't think they've ever spoken a word to one another.
Once we left the unit, we decided to start by taking him to the picnic so that he could eat right away and we can spend the rest of our short visit shooting pool. It's sometimes hard to flip the script on dad and introduce a new routine and if we start by shooting pool, he will lose sight of the other things planned for the day, and we definitely didn't want him missing a meal. Unfortunately, due to the weather forecast, the picnic was moved indoors, but the food was still good and they had some entertainment. Dad seems to light up when he sees other veterans or staff that he recognizes from his unit, especially when they are all outside of "lockdown." It's like their world just got a little bit bigger, at least temporarily.
Dad usually has a hard time sitting still, especially when we try to do something new. He was anxious about getting food and then getting over to the member's lounge to shoot some pool. But I went outside with him so he could have a cigarette while we waited for them to finish setting up for lunch and that seemed to help. After that, he was really quite calm and didn't seem so antsy. He ate his lunch and commented about a lot of the songs the band was playing, even tapping his hand on the table to the beat.
After lunch we made our way over to the member's lounge where our brother showed up to shoot pool with dad. Dad still likes to read the signs along the way and I always like to see if we can still make him laugh. When he pointed out the sign in one of the kitchen areas that said, "Please do not store bait in the refrigerator." I asked him, "Where am I supposed to put all the worms that I brought with me?" He laughed and said, "you didn't bring any worms, did you?" I wonder if he thought that just maybe, I had. But he's still pretty sharp with the banter and jokes, so that's good.
After several games of pool with Ricky, dad actually remembered that we needed to leave by 2pm so that Denise could get home in time for the school bus drop off. At about 1:40 he suggested that we start heading back. It seemed like enough time, but we always forget that it takes longer than we think. He's got a routine for everything, and returning to the unit is no different. There's more signs, bathroom stops, one last smoke break and sometimes we look at the birds in the lobby before finally ringing the buzzer to let us back in.
Then once we are in the unit, he takes his "shortcut" back to his room, which is not much shorter than the other way, but we always meet back at his room after signing him back in and returning his smokes. When we returned to the room, it was quite obvious that his roommate was not well. We realized that he was probably moving on soon, as there was a different nurse at his bedside, making him comfortable and taking notes. I think they were watching him around the clock in what was probably his last hours. We got it. Dad probably did not. He went right to his desk to work on more puzzles and was blissfully oblivious that he might be getting a new roommate soon.
Tomorrow we go back for dad's quarterly assessment report from the staff, so we shall see...
No comments:
Post a Comment