9/3/13 First appointment towards finding the diagnosis

I've been doing a bad job at going back in time and putting some of the back story on here.  There is so much to this.  Not just the present situation, but how we came to the diagnosis, and some of the horrible incidents that happened long before we knew he was sick.  It tore the family apart and took many years to figure out why.  I always used to pray that we would some day find out that he felt bad for all that he did, and how he treated the family.  I just wanted to know that he recognized it and felt remorse, even if he couldn't ever admit it to us.  Never did I expect it to be a disease like this.  I should be relieved that it wasn't his fault.  But it just makes me more sad that this disease had to come in and ruin half his life.  And he has no idea.  With it being Veteran's Day, it made me think a lot about him.  Growing up, I never used to give much thought about his service in Vietnam.  It was something he never talked about.  But the older I get and I am able to understand and appreciate what these veterans have done for us, I am truly proud of him.  I also can't help but wonder if this disease stemmed from him being in Vietnam.  How unfair for a person to be drafted, go to war, and then end up with this horrible life-altering disease because of it?  We will never know.  Unless of course another family member gets it and we discover it is genetic.  Either way, it's unbearable.

So getting back to his very first appointment leading to his diagnosis.  It was with a social worker from the VA on September 3, 2013.  My Uncle took him to the appointment with my one page summary of his symptoms - recent and past  - in hand.  Here is an email I sent my family about it after I had spoken to the social worker after his appointment:

Dad signed a consent form so that she could speak with family members for his health issues, so she was able to call me and talk.  I think this stands for all his future medical care.  She said he wasn't very forthcoming, which isn't surprising.  And not new to her either, dealing with all personality types there.  She picked up on his hygiene/appearance.  He told her he showers daily, and she tried to put it tactfully that she didn't think he showered today.  He told her he drinks 2-3 beers/day.  I told her that isn't true, and she knows she can't go off what a patient says, she said they lie all the time.  She said she gave him a memory test.  It doesn't hold a lot of weight in diagnostic testing, but he did poorly on it.  She said it's obvious (X - insert name of woman who took advantage of him) is involved big time and she feels she is exploiting him.  She said she called twice while he was in the appointment, and it was clear she didn't want him there.  (Strange how he answers mid-session).  I think his issue is he shuts down when he's asked questions like this, but since he wasn't able to go out and smoke or dive into a crossword puzzle, this was tough for him.  I think he shut down by not having a lot to say.  She said she's going to write it all up to his doctor and see if she can get him in sooner, and get him in for blood work also - that should be done through some sort of geriatric testing, but he needs the papers from his doctor.  I asked if she could have the dr. call me if we can schedule him sooner, because calling dad won't do any good.  Especially if X has anything to say about it.  The social worker wants to give Adult Protective Services a call.  She thinks its warranted in his case - even if I said no, she would probably be obligated to call based on what she found today.  It may speed things along, and at the least help us get guardianship over his finances sooner.  My other thought, is would he just sign that over to us right now?  Not really sure what he needs to sign, or how that is done.  I guess that would be another call to the attorney's office.

And here was my uncle's perspective after the appointment:

I took your dad to his VA appointment today - he was a little puzzled about the reason for the interview but co-operated when I explained we were going to initiate the process toward additional VA benefits. He indicated that X had already told him that she felt there were opportunities for further benefits.

We met with the social worker and I explained to her in detail the circumstances of your dad's financial and behavioral problems. I described his relationship with X and the apparent level of control she has over him.  I tried to make clear the extent to which we feel she has taken control of his life.   Your dad was surprisingly unresponsive during my presentation and offered very little comment. Ironically, during the interview, X called your dad's cell and her tone and demeanor toward him during the call (the phone volume was high enough for all to hear) spoke volumes to support our description of X and her influence over your dad. Incredibly, she even called back minutes later with a "furthermore".  The social worker was taking notes throughout -- the episode was not lost on her.

She got your dad to agree to respond to a lengthy series of oral questions - a psychological and cognitive assessment I imagine. -- he was a little irritated by some of the questions but completed the test anyway.

She feels it is necessary to accelerate the time until his next doctor visit. She said she will arrange this with the doctor and call us to advise the new date for the examination. Your dad was agreeable to this and said he would co-operate.

She also got him to sign a consent form which allows the VA to share his medical records and evaluations with you, your sister and myself.

So, that is how today went.

Let me know if any questions.

 

Looking back at this, I still can't believe how "easy" it was.  He cooperated for every appointment along the way, but we worried the whole time he would not.  He hated doctors and never went.  I think it was a fear thing.  It was so strange to us that he kept going.  We started out being kind of sneaky about it trying to almost trick him into going.  But we soon realized that wasn't necessary and he almost looked forward to getting out of the house and going.  It was such a blessing in the end.  The next appointment on the agenda was with the neuropsych on 9/16...